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Tango isn’t for you

by Ivica Anteski · May 30, 2018

Tango isn’t for you, it’s for the one you dance with.

I strongly believe that tango makes sense only if you are able to dance FOR your partner. No, I don’t even accept dancing WITH your partner as many dancers believe it should be.

In this article I will explain why I think this by explaining the stages of development of every dancer. For many, those stages are not actually stages – they just start randomly choosing one, depending on their character.

But, be sure, tango is personal and it deeply reflects who you are as a person. I believe that good dancers respect the process: they go through all those stages and this provides them with the necessary skills to become great.

I borrowed the idea and the first sentence from one article I read many years ago. The form is there, but the point is completely different. I had to mention this because I feel uncomfortable stealing. Anyway, the analogy is perfect and I had to borrow.

So, here they are: the four stages of evolution of the tango dancer.

1. Self focused

This is usually where every good dancer starts. The beginner is so overwhelmed with what (s)he learns that (s)he can’t focus on other things except his/her body. Dancing is a new experience and it takes time for the body to absorb the knowledge until it becomes easy to focus on other things.

After the techniques and steps become routine, the dancer may go beyond focusing on himself/herself and start paying attention to other things.

👍 It is good to experience this phase because self analysis is necessary for everyone who wants to become a good dancer.

👎 It’s bad if a dancer gets stuck in this phase. Then, (s)he becomes a dancer who dances only for himself/herself, completely ignoring others and reality.

Hey, sorry to interrupt…

Do you like reading my articles? If you do please consider a small contribution to the existence of this blog.

I don’t sell a book or run ads: I share these articles for free. Unfortunately I also have to pay my bills, so if you see value in my work please consider a small donation/gratuity (the same way you tip your favorite bartender).
From my heart to yours!
Ivica

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2. Viewers focused

Social tango is danced in social environment and what others think about our dancing means a lot to us, especially if they are our potential next partners.

This becomes important in the second phase, when the dancer starts visiting milongas. When the beginner enters this phase, (s)he should move to the next one as soon as (s)he can, unless if (s)he has an ambition to become a performer.

Unfortunately, many beginners miss the first phase and jump directly here. They are usually in tango to show off, without even trying to focus first on their dancing. They never become good dancers.

👍 It is good to be elegant – because ugly dancing is usually uncomfortable too.

👎 It’s bad when being elegant and attractive becomes goal by itself. It is not comfortable to dance with someone who only cares about his/her posture and nice moves.

3. Partner focused

This is the crown of good dancing: it shows maturity and elegance.

Dancers who get here are those with whom you can expect the pure tango bliss. They feel the partner first, and then are able to transfer the music in their body. Their dancing is like a pleasant conversation that touches the soul and stays in the memory long after the last beats of the tanda.

👍 It’s good to get here because the process requires from you to outgrow the self-fixation and dancing for compliments. It requires from the dancer to go even beyond tango and become a better human being.

👎 It’s bad… Well, it is bad when people don’t get here… and stay here!

4. Sex focused

“Tango as a dance is a game of seduction…”, said in the intro the narrator of one of the videos I watched when I was a beginner.

It was a bad video course, but this was actually not far from the truth. Tango can become very intimate, very sensual and even very sexual… and there is nothing wrong with it – if it is the desire of both of the partners.

Every tango dancer has had a few of those “steamy” tandas and I believe that they are a part of the overall experience.

👍 It’s good when a dancer enjoys and knows how to answer if his/her partner initiates sensual (or even sexual) tanda.

👎 It’s bad when a dancer initiates sensual/sexual dancing without consent or even despite implicit refusal of the partner. This often gives tango a bad reputation and I know of many dancers (most of the girls) who gave up dancing because of this.

What do you think? Can you think of dancers that are stuck in some of the stages? Comment below or email me.

If you find this useful, spread the word by sharing it with your tango friends.

Why Ladies Learn Better by Dancing More?

by Ivica Anteski · July 20, 2017

photo by Sergio Scandiuzzi ©

Going to classes and practicing at home is very useful, but there is nothing as good as dancing more. I wrote my post “Practice less, dance more” for the guys, but this is even more applicable for the ladies. In fact, I learned that dancing more and dancing with good dancers is more than 50% of the learning process for female tango dancers.

Read this article to find out how dancing more will benefit you, especially if you are a female dancer. Please have in mind that I do not use leader/follower terminology on purpose, because I don’t think that female tango dancers are followers.

Check my post about leader/follower confusion

The leader/follower confusion

“If she comes here for a few months, she will ‘explode’ as a dancer,” he said after his dance with her.

I was DJ-ing a local milonga in a big city with a community of more than 300 active dancers. She was a guest… actually it was her first time in such a big milonga.

“Yes, what she needs is a lot of dancing with good dancers,” we agreed.

She was a tall blonde and her dancing was very good. She had this superpower of feeling the most subtle changes in the partner – something which makes the difference between good and perfect dancers. In my opinion it is not something you learn in tango classes, it is more like a character trait. The only thing she lacked was a good tango environment to develop in to a world class dancer. Unfortunately she lived in a small town where the tango community consisted of no more than 30 dancers and few schools, some of which were teaching tango as part of a larger curriculum which included salsa and standard dances.

[Tweet “She will explode if she dances a lot with good dancers”]

So, why is dancing more important? And, why is dancing a lot more important in the development of female dancers than it is for male dancers? I have taught tango for more than five years and in this post I am sharing my experience.

This is what female dancers get from dancing more:

1. Facing their barriers – What I learned from my teaching experience is that tango faces people with themselves. It is like a mirror. It reveals to them what their real face is. It also gives them space where they can work to overcome their weak spots.

In my experience, the biggest problem ladies have in tango is exactly this. A huge part of learning tango for her is to overcome her inner fears and blockades. Learning ochos and giros is just the surface – the stuff that makes ladies a good dancer happens in their hearts.

They can never face their inner obstacles if they just come to classes or just practice women’s technique at home. For this, they have to get in the embrace of male dancers and ‘give up the control’ – let the man lead their movements.

Basically, this process is opening emotionally, becoming able to trust other people. It is impossible to have a good communication in tango without being open to the partner. Without that, tango is being reduced to two persons dancing parallel dances in a coordinated way. No emotion. No passion. No human warmth.

Some argue that this part of learning has nothing to do with tango and tango teachers, that it is part of individual development. I don’t agree. Tango teachers can help a lot, by guiding students how to use the dance in this direction – and the first advice should be: dance more!

Dancing more, causes her to face her weak points. This gives her reason and motivation to work on them and to improve.

2. Learning to adapt – When I wrote about the phases of development of the tango dancer I explained how male and female dancers have different paths because of the difference in their roles. The second phase of their development is much harder for ladies because men will develop their repertoire and they will use it all the time. Ladies, on the other hand, have to adapt to the repertoires of their partners.

Phases of the tango dancer’s development

This means ladies have to be more flexible in their style. I mean, they can refuse to be flexible, but this limits the number of partners – and this is a problem which male dancers don’t have.

On the other side, this gives ladies a bigger opportunity. Male can get stuck in the circle of their current repertoire for years, while ladies will develop. The only thing female dancers need is to be offered a variety of styles and repertoires and a variety of partners to dance with, and they will develop their dance.

The form you have selected does not exist.

Dancing more with variety of dancers will help them to emotionally and mentally process different styles of communication and musicality. They will also develop better technique.

3. Gaining self-confidence – Remember the movie ‘The Scent of a Woman’? Frank (a blind man played by Al Pacino) asks a lady what she would say if he offered her to dance tango with him.

“Ah… I think I’d be a little afraid,” she answers.

“Of what?” asks Frank.

“Afraid of making a mistake.”

“There are no mistakes in the tango, not like life. It’s simple. That’s what makes the tango so great. If you make a mistake, get all tangled up, just tango on.”

It doesn’t feel good when you dance with a partner who says “I’m sorry” after each dance. No matter if it comes from a male or from a female dancer. I’ve danced with a very good dancers who were not aware how good they were, repeating from time to time “I’m sorry” for whatever mistake we did in the dance.

Sorry for what? There are no mistakes in tango – we are together in this and the mistakes we do are not mine or yours, they are ours.

The point I want to make is that the more experienced a dancer is, the more confidence in her dancing she gets. And the more confident she is, the better her dancing becomes.

There is one more benefit – confident women can lead their partners and define the tone of the tanda.

My point is that leader/follower terminology is misleading. It doesn’t give the right representation of reality. In the real world both the male and the female dancers are leading: the male the movements, the female the emotion of the dance. Only strong and confident women can give clear emotional leads.

I share my knowledge with the hope to help people learn more and learn better. I believe our tango world can be better if more people share what they know. Please help me in this mission by sharing this post with your friends on Facebook or other social networks.

Feel, do not think your tango

by Ivica Anteski · December 5, 2016

photo by Oirad Aguls ©
photo by Oirad Aguls ©

Tango is about feeling, not about thinking. It is a dance of passion: it should be danced with a heart, not with the mind. I repeat this in many of my articles, but what it actually means? How you should start feeling, not thinking, your tango.

Read those points. Maybe not all of them will be helpful to you. If you have problem relaxing, the answer will be hidden in some of those sentences. Sometimes you have to figure out just one little detail for everything else to fall in place.

It was the last evening of a big encuentro. She was tired and I did not wanted her to lose time on bad dances, so I tried to tell her my opinion about the dancers she chooses. She just danced with a dancer who had a really good technique but she complained she did not feel good during the dance.

– I do not know why? Maybe we just do not have the chemistry, she said.

– Maybe. Or maybe he does not dances with his heart, I answered.

– But what does it means ‘to dance with his heart’. I mean, I know what is it when I feel it, but I am never able to explain to myself, she replied.

So, I tried to explain what I think about it. This post consists of the things I said to her in that conversation.

[Tweet “Tango is about feeling, not about thinking”]

In this article I am going to give you five tips on how can you dance with your heart. Everyone has a passion, without it we would not spend so much time trying to learn. And, it is unique – like the colors of the eyes. Whatever it is and however it looks like we should to tap in to it and express it during the dance. Here is how:

1. Practice until you do it without effort – The point is to make your body work without your focus. The process goes like this: you think of a cross and you do a cross, you do not think about all details how you should do it – where your left leg goes, where the right one goes, how your knees are moving, what is the position of the torso, how is the lead… all those questions are answered below the radar, below your attention, so your mind is free to focus on other stuff.

Let me give you the formula. For guys: 1) You chose a very simple step that fits your level of dancing, never be too ambitious, 2) learn it and practice it until you do it effortlessly 3) on practica try to add that to your existing repertoire of movements 4) Try to do it on milonga only when you do it without effort during the dance on practica with more than 3 partners.

This is formula that is mostly focused on the guys. For ladies the process is little more complicated. They usually need to focus on building up their technique and abilities to execute what their partner leads them to.

Check out my post about how ladies can improve their dancing

How can ladies become better dancers?

There are more exercises that can help you get to this effortless dancing which will free your mind to focus on the music and emotions. For example one of my first Argentinian teachers has thought me that the best way to get there is to have a little conversation, a small talk, when I practice. If I am able to do it – than I know how to dance that step.

2. Focus on the moment – You should learn that every step counts. There are no valuable and less valuable moments in the dance.

Oh, yes, there is – there is one moment which is most valuable in the dance – it is NOW. The moment you learn how to focus on what you do now, then you will start feeling the dance. Stop planing the next steps, forget about the past ones.

It is a kind of a meditation mindset – to focus on now. One of the magic tricks your brain learns when you dance is the value of the present moment. The dancers who learn to embrace it will achieve the higher levels of dancing. The ones who are not able to do it, will forever be stuck in the lower branches.

Feeling tango means feeling the present. You might made a mistakes during the dance. Everyone does. Thinking about them will make you continue doing mistakes in the future as well. In order to dance well you have to let it go of the past, to forgive yourself and the partner, to allow the dance continue, to let it go. People who are stuck in the past can never enjoy the present. They do not have future either.

It is important to let go of the future as well. When you think about what you are about to do; or when (for ladies) you anticipate the next moves, you are neglecting the present. This way you program yourself to make mistakes.

Being stuck in the past, being gone in the future, means that you are absent from the now-moment. No one likes to dance with the partner who is not “here”.

Hey, sorry to interrupt…

Do you like reading my articles? If you do please consider a small contribution to the existence of this blog.

I don’t sell a book or run ads: I share these articles for free. Unfortunately I also have to pay my bills, so if you see value in my work please consider a small donation/gratuity (the same way you tip your favorite bartender).
From my heart to yours!
Ivica

Thank you button

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3. Forget yourself – There is one very good point which I first read on “Tango and chaos”:

Jazz musicians say there are three stages to playing jazz. First, you must learn all about your instrument. Then, you must learn all about the music. And finally, you must throw it all out, and learn to play.

When you dance tango you are similar to a jazz musician: you learn everything about your steps, you learn everything about your music, you learn everything about your body and then you forget about all that and go on the dance floor and have fun.

If you think about the quality of what you do, you are analyzing, and that is thinking. If you go on the dance floor with an agenda, with a goal to learn something, you are also thinking. The only agenda and only goal should be to go out there and move with the music – do not think about how you move. Thinking is for practicas, milongas are for enjoying. Milongas are not for the brain, they are for the heart.

What should you think about? Mostly think about your partner. Remember that you do not dance for the music, nor for the people watching you – you dance for the man/woman in your arms. Second, you focus on the music. There is no better way to forget about the distractions than to focus on the music and let it lead you.

4. Get in shape – Although tango should not be considered a physical activity – it is more similar to meditation than to a sport. Being out of shape can make your moving harder, which will make you a bad dancer.

Having stronger muscles and better stamina will make your moves smoother and effortless. This alone frees up mental energy to focus more on feeling the moment. There is nothing worse for relaxed dance than trying to force your body to get in a position which is hard for the muscles.

You do not have to be athlete to dance tango, but try exercising a bit. Start simple, specially if you are out of shape. A few repetition of a simple exercise will get you to the levels where your body should be. The trick is to be persistent and do it every single day, no matter how do you feel or what condition are you in. You must make it a habit.

The form you have selected does not exist.

 

5. Dress comfortable – Being overdressed is a bit of distraction. When you go to a milonga do not try to impress with your evening toilette. Dress something comfortable and easy, something which enables you to move without effort and something which makes you feel elegant. I am not much of a fashion guru, but my advice here is keep it simple.

Many people in tango are following the tradition of dressing classical or they follow the so called tango fashion. If you fell like it is for you it is perfect, but I try as much to dress simpler. Some of the pieces of the tango fashion can look classy and are really practical, but please have in mind not to overdo it. The two major points you should never forget are 1) to feel comfortable and 2) to look elegant.

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