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Tango is about feeling, not about thinking. It is a dance of passion: it should be danced with a heart, not with the mind. I repeat this in many of my articles, but what it actually means? How you should start feeling, not thinking, your tango.

Read those points. Maybe not all of them will be helpful to you. If you have problem relaxing, the answer will be hidden in some of those sentences. Sometimes you have to figure out just one little detail for everything else to fall in place.

It was the last evening of a big encuentro. She was tired and I did not wanted her to lose time on bad dances, so I tried to tell her my opinion about the dancers she chooses. She just danced with a dancer who had a really good technique but she complained she did not feel good during the dance.

– I do not know why? Maybe we just do not have the chemistry, she said.

– Maybe. Or maybe he does not dances with his heart, I answered.

– But what does it means ‘to dance with his heart’. I mean, I know what is it when I feel it, but I am never able to explain to myself, she replied.

So, I tried to explain what I think about it. This post consists of the things I said to her in that conversation.

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In this article I am going to give you five tips on how can you dance with your heart. Everyone has a passion, without it we would not spend so much time trying to learn. And, it is unique – like the colors of the eyes. Whatever it is and however it looks like we should to tap in to it and express it during the dance. Here is how:

1. Practice until you do it without effort – The point is to make your body work without your focus. The process goes like this: you think of a cross and you do a cross, you do not think about all details how you should do it – where your left leg goes, where the right one goes, how your knees are moving, what is the position of the torso, how is the lead… all those questions are answered below the radar, below your attention, so your mind is free to focus on other stuff.

Let me give you the formula. For guys: 1) You chose a very simple step that fits your level of dancing, never be too ambitious, 2) learn it and practice it until you do it effortlessly 3) on practica try to add that to your existing repertoire of movements 4) Try to do it on milonga only when you do it without effort during the dance on practica with more than 3 partners.

This is formula that is mostly focused on the guys. For ladies the process is little more complicated. They usually need to focus on building up their technique and abilities to execute what their partner leads them to.

Check out my post about how ladies can improve their dancing

How can ladies become better dancers?

There are more exercises that can help you get to this effortless dancing which will free your mind to focus on the music and emotions. For example one of my first Argentinian teachers has thought me that the best way to get there is to have a little conversation, a small talk, when I practice. If I am able to do it – than I know how to dance that step.

2. Focus on the moment – You should learn that every step counts. There are no valuable and less valuable moments in the dance.

Oh, yes, there is – there is one moment which is most valuable in the dance – it is NOW. The moment you learn how to focus on what you do now, then you will start feeling the dance. Stop planing the next steps, forget about the past ones.

It is a kind of a meditation mindset – to focus on now. One of the magic tricks your brain learns when you dance is the value of the present moment. The dancers who learn to embrace it will achieve the higher levels of dancing. The ones who are not able to do it, will forever be stuck in the lower branches.

Feeling tango means feeling the present. You might made a mistakes during the dance. Everyone does. Thinking about them will make you continue doing mistakes in the future as well. In order to dance well you have to let it go of the past, to forgive yourself and the partner, to allow the dance continue, to let it go. People who are stuck in the past can never enjoy the present. They do not have future either.

It is important to let go of the future as well. When you think about what you are about to do; or when (for ladies) you anticipate the next moves, you are neglecting the present. This way you program yourself to make mistakes.

Being stuck in the past, being gone in the future, means that you are absent from the now-moment. No one likes to dance with the partner who is not “here”.

3. Forget yourself – There is one very good point which I first read on “Tango and chaos”:

Jazz musicians say there are three stages to playing jazz. First, you must learn all about your instrument. Then, you must learn all about the music. And finally, you must throw it all out, and learn to play.

When you dance tango you are similar to a jazz musician: you learn everything about your steps, you learn everything about your music, you learn everything about your body and then you forget about all that and go on the dance floor and have fun.

If you think about the quality of what you do, you are analyzing, and that is thinking. If you go on the dance floor with an agenda, with a goal to learn something, you are also thinking. The only agenda and only goal should be to go out there and move with the music – do not think about how you move. Thinking is for practicas, milongas are for enjoying. Milongas are not for the brain, they are for the heart.

What should you think about? Mostly think about your partner. Remember that you do not dance for the music, nor for the people watching you – you dance for the man/woman in your arms. Second, you focus on the music. There is no better way to forget about the distractions than to focus on the music and let it lead you.

4. Get in shape – Although tango should not be considered a physical activity – it is more similar to meditation than to a sport. Being out of shape can make your moving harder, which will make you a bad dancer.

Having stronger muscles and better stamina will make your moves smoother and effortless. This alone frees up mental energy to focus more on feeling the moment. There is nothing worse for relaxed dance than trying to force your body to get in a position which is hard for the muscles.

You do not have to be athlete to dance tango, but try exercising a bit. Start simple, specially if you are out of shape. A few repetition of a simple exercise will get you to the levels where your body should be. The trick is to be persistent and do it every single day, no matter how do you feel or what condition are you in. You must make it a habit.

5. Dress comfortable – Being overdressed is a bit of distraction. When you go to a milonga do not try to impress with your evening toilette. Dress something comfortable and easy, something which enables you to move without effort and something which makes you feel elegant. I am not much of a fashion guru, but my advice here is keep it simple.

Many people in tango are following the tradition of dressing classical or they follow the so called tango fashion. If you fell like it is for you it is perfect, but I try as much to dress simpler. Some of the pieces of the tango fashion can look classy and are really practical, but please have in mind not to overdo it. The two major points you should never forget are 1) to feel comfortable and 2) to look elegant.