Uncategorized

Since I’ve started publishing articles every week, I guess you’ve asked yourself: does artificial intelligence writes for me and what is my AI usage policy? The short answer is “No, I do it all by myself.” But there’s more to it…

This article, as I imagine it, will serve well as my AI usage policy – since I want to be intellectually honest with my readers.

I write every day! It helps me with my mental discipline and also brings me closer to my goal of improving my English, as it’s not my native language.

A few months back, I attended an encuentro and met Annie in person for the first time. She is one of the people who helped me with proofreading in the past.

During our conversation between milongas, she asked about why I paused my work on Tango Mentor. I explained it’s because I was focused on my local school.

“When I resume my writing, I likely won’t require your assistance anymore,” I replied but then a thought crossed my mind: “Oh, what if soon I won’t be needed anymore either?”

Indeed, what if this blog in its entirety could be managed by AI, from ideation to writing, illustrating, and publishing? Well, thankfully we’re not there yet, and I’m not sure if we ever will be. I think that would be a terrible AI usage policy.

---

AI Isn’t the Ideal Partner, But It’s Still Helpful

I had an unusual tango journey: since there were no tango teachers and schools in my tango community, I had to often travel and take private classes. That meant I didn’t have structured learning like most of the tango beginners – I had to guide myself. I had to first understand tango and have the right mindset about it, in order to make wise choices about my teachers and role models.

Luckily, I discovered milonguero and the countless videos of milongueros dancing were my source of inspiration. I considered them my tango mentors… And right there was my idea about this blog – if I had a problem finding milonguero tango teachers, there must be others around the world – and I am willing to help.

One other unpredicted consequence of publishing my articles was that I discovered how different my views on tango were from some of the dancers – and I found myself swimming up the stream.

And this is why AI is useless when it comes to writing for my blog!

It’s ideas about tango (I assume about everything) is a summary of the most commonly repeated tropes on internet (its data set). That means that when you ask it about any topic connected to tango it will spit out a text filled with clichés, and that is what my intention is not. Who needs to read things that has been already said? I don’t want to parrot other’s people viewpoints!

---

My AI Usage Policy

Besides what I said, I must admit – AI is a powerful tool if one knows how to use it. I mostly use ChatGPT and Gemini (formerly known as Bard) – I found them most useful.

For me, as a non-native English speaker, it’s most useful in helping me correct my grammar and spelling.

1. Proofreading

But this goes even further: when I ask it to proofread a draft, AI sometimes offers a proofread version with style changes. Although its versions are a huge improvement over my draft, I often feel uncomfortable with them, and I often ask it to proofread my text without any style changes.

Here’s why I don’t allow AI to make too much style changes to my writing:

a) The improved text doesn’t sound like me
It’s dry, official, and non-personal; like a scientific paper or a press release from the State Department

b) The language is too complex
It requires higher proficiency from the reader. It goes against my journalist background philosophy – an article should be simple enough for a fourth-grader to understand and rich in content for an academic to be interesting. On top of that, I know I write for an international readership, which includes people who are like me, non-native English speakers – so simple language is better.

c) AI often uses words I don’t understand.
I think it’s intellectual dishonesty to use words I don’t understand so, I often change them back. Even slightly wrong – I prefer my own wrong words.

Anyways, I still consider the style improvements the AI suggests, and when in rare occasions I feel they belong in my article, I accept them.

2. Structuring my articles

Besides proofreading and some style suggestions, I find AI very useful in structuring my articles.

I write every day for at least 15-30 minutes. It starts with an idea or a question, or a concept that I want to explain… I dump all that I have to say about it and what arguments I have without any pre-planned concept – it’s just a pile of unconnected paragraphs.

Then I ask AI to suggest a structure based on those notes, and I must admit it often does a great job.

Then I tweak the suggested outline and start writing again – this time going deeper, finding examples, sharing personal stories, etc. Yes, what you read is all me, but I must be honest, I get a lot of help from AI in structuring and making the focus clear.

---

A Bicycle for My Mind

I haven’t yet seen AI provide me with an original idea or viewpoint on tango. I would describe what it generates as a kind of “Google search” on steroids (although I personally use DuckDuckGo). It summarizes well-known and often repeated clichés, which, in my opinion, are sometimes inaccurate. I don’t intend to waste your time by rehashing what you already know; my aim is to offer a fresh perspective or a new spin on old ideas, something that AI can’t provide.

“What a computer is to me is it’s the most remarkable tool that we’ve ever come up with, and it’s the equivalent of a bicycle for our minds.”

Steve Jobs

AI is simply a tool to enhance human voice and ideas, not replace them. So, if you have doubts about my work, don’t worry, it’s organic.

Why do some people think that milonguero is mostly danced by the elderly? You might assume it’s because the average age at encuentros is slightly higher, but I believe it’s because it takes experience and maturity to be comfortable in an intimate embrace. And it has nothing to do with the age.

People dance as they are, but at the same time, by dancing, they can become their better selves. Tango is not just a dance; like any social activity, it often has deeper meaning that goes beyond just the form. It’s a mirror that reflects who we are. It challenges us to confront our vulnerabilities and, by doing so, become better versions of ourselves.

Of course, none of this happens if you don’t do it in an authentic way. The process has value only if you are honest with yourself and have the courage to be your true self in relation to others.

My point is that tango is a great platform to work on yourself. I strongly believe that by being unaware of this and reducing it to just a dance, we are missing a great opportunity to double what we get from it: 1) the pleasure from the dance itself and 2) the fulfillment from becoming better by doing something so enjoyable.

What makes it possible and how does it work?

---

It Takes Courage to be Vulnerable

It takes courage to dance tango. This I know from my experience with new students and from countless encounters on the dance floor. Most of all, I know it from my own experience.

To engage in an intimate embrace and be open to a complete stranger. To let them know you deeply and personally. It requires vulnerability, but that is precisely what makes it so magical.

On the other hand, immaturity thrives in the shadows of fear. As with everything in life, you have to face some things directly if you want to overcome them. You have to jump headfirst.

People are often afraid of silence, of just doing nothing – and they try to cover it with some superficial activity. They talk to hide their thoughts. They move to hide their feelings. They numb themselves with the illusion of life because they’re afraid of it.

On top of that, there’s the paradox of hyperconnected yet isolated lives, which makes us know more people than we ever did in history, and yet still feel lonely.

In tango, you have to face it. Yes, in a symbolic way, but it’s still facing it, and it has real consequences. You have to open and be vulnerable; you have to trust and be trustworthy.

And learning how to do it; doing it – it’s very, very hard if you don’t have some life experience and wisdom, if you don’t have maturity.

The vulnerability of the deep human connection, that which scares us most, is the way to overcome that dark void.

---

It Takes Character to be Authentic

Look, I know that milonguero events are mostly attended by midlife and older people, but the reason for this is not solely because of age. I strongly believe that it’s because it takes maturity and wisdom to dance intimately. What one does on the dance floor reflects their inner reality.

I’ve seen young mature people and I’ve also seen older people who are immature and lacking in wisdom. It’s sometimes about character, but I think it’s often about accumulating life experience – and this is why older dancers tend to visit milonguero events.

As you grow as a person, you also become a better dancer – and those events are quite choosy when it comes to the attendees.

Because I don’t see tango as just a series of steps; they’re the physical expression of the intimate dialogue between souls. When I dance, I often feel that I don’t create the steps – they emerge from what I feel and from my interaction with my partner and the surroundings.

This may sound like romanticizing tango beyond what it truly is, especially for beginners – but when movements become as natural as breathing, it really feels this way. You don’t think about “pointing to the stars with your finger”; you focus on the “heavenly glory” that you point to. You shed your societal mask, reveal your true self, and by doing so, you allow yourself to be authentic.

I reference again the ancient Chinese wisdom expressed in the words of Bruce Lee: ‘It’s like a finger pointing away to the moon. Don’t concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.’

---

Do you agree with me that we need more milonguero dancers in the tango world? If you do, please consider a small donation to support my mission of spreading the milonguero culture. It helps me maintain this blog. I appreciate every contribution, big or small, as much as you feel you gained value from this article.
From my heart to yours!
Ivica

Securely processed by PayPal

---

Respect: Give it to Get it

Respect for others in tango is not a courtesy, but an expression of maturity. I guess as with everything in life. I am talking here about respect towards the partners, but also towards other dancers who are dancing beside you on the dance floor.

All codigos in tango and all etiquette in life can be summarized in one simple viewpoint: respect – give it, to get it. And if you think about it it’s best when it comes from a feeling of solidarity and empathy.

“There is nothing more despicable than respect based on fear.”

Albert Camus

I don’t know how true it is, but I remember a story someone of the milongueros told about some of the milongas in the Golden Age. Younger girls were not allowed to visit without the watchful eye of their mothers or another company – so if a man wanted to dance with them, they had to make two cabeceos: one with them and another one with their mother – asking for approval.

What I wanted to say is that it’s not that the old milongueros were all polite and courteous people (in many cases the opposite was the truth) – it’s that they were policed by mothers.

Nowadays no one polices them, except maybe the organizers at milongas and events that prefer good behavior. But I don’t think that nice people should be policed – as I said, it should come from our feeling of respect, solidarity, and empathy.

I still remember the passage quoted in the introduction of my kids’ illustrated book about etiquette:

“Etiquette is the barrier which society draws around itself as a protection against offences the “law” cannot touch; it is a shield against the intrusion of the impertinent, the improper, and the vulgar, – a guard against those obtuse persons who, having neither talent nor delicacy, would be continually thrusting themselves into society …”

Hints on Etiquette and the Usages of Society: With a Glance at Bad Habits

I don’t say we should oblige to every advice from the 19th century, but it’s a good reminder to see etiquette not as rules, but as a “shield”… and, I would also add – a sign of recognizing good and respectful dancers.

Because in the end, wise people know that when you respect others, they will respect you too. Your behavior will protect you from people with no sense of feeling for others.

---

I strongly reject the idea that milonguero is tango for the elderly. While the average age at encuentros tends to be higher, age isn’t causally linked to milonguero; rather, it correlates with maturity and wisdom. Dancing in an intimate embrace demands vulnerability, authenticity, and respect, qualities not defined by age, but by life experience.

No matter your flavor of tango, I am sure we will agree that the connection is very very important. For me, it’s such a crucial aspect that I find myself discussing it in nearly every article.

However, it’s important to clarify what I mean by “connection,” especially considering that different people have different idea about what it means. Countless discussions have left me realizing that often we agree on the essence, but our differing definitions cause misunderstandings.

When I started learning tango, connection was presented to me as one of the foundational techniques necessary for dancing. I began with the mindset of sending leads with my torso and hands, using “the frame” to guide, reading my partner’s responses, and adjusting to execute intended moves.

I guess more or less, these things have been told to you as well. And they work!

Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something deeper was missing. The question I had was “does the fact that they work mean that they’re enough”? There must be something beyond the movement and the leading-following paradigm.

Through further exploration, conversations with teachers, and experiences on the dance floor, I began to understand that the essence of connection transcends the mere physical mechanics.

The Two Perspectives on Connection

I believe that those two approaches to connection in tango are very real, and they have their reasons depending on the context.

First of all, there’s this question: to whom or what do you connect when you dance? I think that performers and show dancers tend to connect with the audience; that’s their primary goal because it’s their job description. The connection with the partner in that context is seen as a tool that helps execute the moves.

On the other hand, I believe that when people dance in a social context, the connection with the partner is the goal. Of course, you have to connect with the other couples who dance alongside you in the ronda.

In my view, the problem arises when dancers in the social context try to use the first type of connection. When people in the ronda dance to show off, making complex steps, they see the connection as a tool – and by extension, even their partner becomes a tool.

Sorry, but I don’t see a connection there at all.

Just to mention one more thing: I don’t think that what they call “connecting with the music” is a meaningful idea: first, it’s dehumanizing, and second, you can’t connect with something that doesn’t connect with you, something which is non-alive. Connection is a two-way street – if not, it’s not connection at all. Use different words to describe it.

---

1) The Physical Aspect of Connection

I don’t want to undermine the importance of the physical connection. It’s crucial for transmitting and receiving information about movements. Without it, dancing is impossible.

In my experience as a dancer and a teacher, there are three main points on the body where connection occurs. First and most importantly is the solar plexus, the part of your torso that starts approximately at your belly button and finishes around your heart. This can vary depending on anatomy, partners, and style, but it’s around that region.

I can’t emphasize this enough; it’s crucial. This area is sometimes the only place where dancers transmit and receive communication. I often practice with my hands on my back, communicating only with this area, which I believe is very beneficial for the quality of my dancing.

The second and third points of connection are the hands and the head. In fact, the whole body of the dancer participates, but these two are physically closest. When it comes to the hands, I completely reject the concept of “the frame” or leading with hands and try not to use them for communication at all.

Hands are for hugs, and hugging is communication; this is why I mentioned the hands.

Regarding head position, I think the best way is if they touch at some point, with a slight lean. This relaxes the back and shoulders and creates a more intimate embrace.

Some time ago, I wrote an article titled “The Anatomy of the Perfect Embrace” and I made this infographic – it might be useful to remind you of it now:

The physical aspect of the connection is mostly there for practical reasons – to facilitate movement. Since our bodies are physical, the connection has to manifest itself physically, but the real essence lies beyond it.

---

2) The Non-Physical Dimension

First of all, I don’t consider myself a dualist: I think I don’t believe that the soul and the body are separate things. So, when I refer to emotional, intellectual, or spiritual aspects, I’m addressing things I consider very close to each other… But, if you fell like it, you can also put into them all of the meaning your personal beliefs are telling you to. I think it will make sense even in that case.

The topic of the non-physical connection in tango is so deep and complex that I don’t think it will fit into one article. Here, I’ll focus on what I mean when I say “connection.” If you ask for a short answer – it’s about overcoming the universal alienation and loneliness we all feel; that part of the human condition that craves fulfillment and a sense of belonging to something bigger.

I don’t claim to have the ultimate knowledge of why the tango embrace is as it is; in fact, I don’t think there’s a way to know that at all. But I believe that the idea closest to the truth is that it was created by emigrants: lonely, disappointed, far away from home and their loved ones, they needed someone to hug them… At least, I think that was part of the reason.

We all sometimes feel like emigrants in our lives. Like refugees from our own world, thrown into a vicious and scary world full of enemies and dangers. Yes, we can have close friends and intimate soulmates in our life, but life itself still feels somewhat cruel.

On top of that, we live in societies that are making us increasingly alienated from one another, closed in our own bubble and running away from things that make us feel uncomfortable.

I believe, maybe naively, that the vast majority of us are good people with good intentions – people who think for themselves and who have some degree of respect and integrity. And when we see injustice and cruelty around us, that makes us feel even more alienated and lonely.

“A person who has not been completely alienated, who has remained sensitive and able to feel, who has not lost the sense of dignity, who is not yet ‘for sale,’ who can still suffer over the suffering of others, who has not acquired fully the having mode of existence – briefly, a person who has remained a person and not become a thing – cannot help feeling lonely, powerless, isolated in present-day society. He cannot help doubting himself and his own convictions, if not his sanity. He cannot help suffering, even though he can experience moments of joy and clarity that are absent in the life of his ‘normal’ contemporaries.”

–  Erich Fromm, “The Art of Being”

---

Your support makes this blog possible. It helps me keep it online… So, if you like this article, please consider a small contribution or gratuity – big or small, as much as you feel like it.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Ivica

Securely processed by PayPal

---

Connecting is Life

Dancing tango and connecting with your partner is a transformative experience. It confronts you with yourself and with others, fostering personal growth that extends beyond the dance floor.

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

– C.G. Jung

I may have mentioned in my articles that I don’t dance too much at milongas. I firmly believe in Ricardo Vidort’s wisdom that “when you dance, you must give everything; if you can’t do that, don’t dance.”

Perhaps sometimes it’s just an excuse for my laziness, but I’m certain that when I dance, I try to give my all. The more I give, the the more I enjoy!

But what does giving mean? It’s quite an abstract concept, but I know for sure many of us have felt the joy of it at least once in our lives.

“What does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious he has—his life. This doesn’t necessarily mean sacrificing his life for the other, but sharing what is alive within him: joy, interest, understanding, knowledge, humor, sadness—all expressions and manifestations of life. In giving of his life, he enriches the other person, enhancing their sense of aliveness and, consequently, his own. Giving isn’t for receiving; it’s joy in itself. Yet, in giving, he inevitably brings something to life in the other person, and that which is awakened reflects back upon him.”

– Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

---

The social tango is not just about dancing; I refuse to see it as merely a dance. It is a form that was created and still exists to connect people. This connection has multiple aspects; part of it is practical. But for me, the most meaningful aspect is the emotional and, I would say, even spiritual.

With that in mind, I can say that tango is sometimes a meditation for two.