It is always interesting to see the enthusiasm when people first start dancing tango. Discovering that secret world for them is something which sparkles great passion for everything connected to the dance.
What they often don’t tell us when we start is that the passion will eventually fade away.
Some might think that there is nothing you can do; that it might be natural, but I disagree. You can just wait for the passion to (or not to) return, or, you can do something about it. I believe that waiting is not always the smarter option – this is what my experience taught me.
“I don’t know… there is this question in my head, repeating nonstop – who are these people, why am I here?”
“Hmm, maybe because you travel to these events and see the same people over and over…” she suggested.
It was the right answer. All of them were exceptional dancers – respectful and dancing with a great passion. How could I not like it? It was because I needed some change.
That year I traveled to more than 15 events in Europe and I met more or less the same people. Of course, at every event you visit you meet new people, but you first recognize the faces of those you already know. You also dance first with the ones who are the safe bet. What it does to the dancers is it offers them less variety and tends to become less of a challenge.
[Tweet “Any challenge you can think of is always out of your comfort zone.”]
What can you do when your passion for tango fades away? How do you rekindle your desire to dance? In these five points I will try to offer you some possible solutions.
1. Challenge yourself – When you lose interest in tango (or any other activity you might think of) it often means that it is far below your skill level. A child might abandon a toy that is not challenging enough; a painter might leave his painting unfinished pursuing new, more challenging projects. In the same manner a tango dancer might feel that what he/she is doing is not challenging enough and lose interest.
The solution is simple: do something that requires you to be better, something that makes you learn new skills. Be aware that any challenge you can think of is always out of your comfort zone.
What can you do? Take some private classes or attend a workshop – learn new steps. If you already have a wide repertoire, I would suggest working on perfecting what you already know – take private classes and ask for help to polish your dancing.
But you can go beyond the movements as well. Think about what effect they have on your partners. Challenge yourself with simple (and not so simple) tasks like “Make this one guy ask me for a second tanda” or “Make my embrace so sweet that she will not brake the embrace after the song finishes.” Those are just some examples to give you ideas… you can do it in your own way.
2. Dance with new partners – Sometimes a way to spark up your tango passion is to just change the partners you dance to. We are all amazed when we discover someone new, someone who is able to transmit new energy, someone who can make us feel different.
Dancing with new partners can cure this boredom created by meeting the same old types of partners. Even if they are good dancers – the human brain can sometimes enter in state of flatlining just by lack of novelty.
The keyword here is “challenge” again. Sometimes we need new partners because they are able to give us new challenges. In some cases this could be new steps (if you are a lady), in other, new way of receiving our lead (if you are a man)… It can be many things, but what we get from new partners can be drastically different from what we are used to and that is the sparkle that can light up our passion again.
So, go there, travel around. Change the partners you dance to in milongas or change the milongas you visit. Or maybe, change the events you travel to… it can get you new experiences and new passion for tango.
3. Visit new events – Many dancers tend to develop habits of visiting the same international tango events over and over. Sometimes it is because they are more convenient for them for some reason: some are closer geographically, others are cheaper, etc. Other times people are visiting the same events because their friends choose to and it becomes a kind of tradition to visit every year.
If you are one of those dancers and you feel like your passion for tango is fading away, maybe it’s time to break the tradition and try something new.
Different atmosphere, different mood, different energy – all this can refresh how you feel about tango – not to mention that visiting new events will sometimes require you to learn new skills, and, for sure, meet new people.
The form you have selected does not exist.
4. Change your values – We often get stuck in our ways of dancing and in what we believe to be beautiful. This not only limits our development as dancers, it can also damage our long term commitment to tango.
But, there is a simple cure for this: making changes in our mindset, in the ways we see our dance.
Be an explorer. Discover how different people think and feel differently about their tango. Talk to them, ask them questions like “Why do you dance? What is your purpose?” or “What do you mean when you say ‘good dancing?’” Think about the answers. How are they different than your approach? Can you accept some of those? Than try them out.
5. If nothing works… – Take a leave. Decide to put your dancing on hold. Stop visiting milongas, practicas or classes for a while. In more extreme case, distance yourself from your tango friends for a while.
If you want this to have biggest effect, I recommend you stop your tango activities completely. Give yourself permission to visit milonga only after, for example, 2 months.
Our desire to do something grows with waiting. Use that to your advantage.
And, of course, whatever you decide: never forget that tango is just one big party. Partying nonstop can sometimes stop being fun, even when it becomes part of our identity. People change. Take from tango what it can give you and when it stops enriching your life there is nothing wrong in abandoning it.
Tango is patient – you can always get back… and trust me – you will!
What do you think? Have you ever made a break from tango? Did you felt that your passion to dance fades away? How did you deal with it? Comment or send me direct message, I would love to hear from you.
Don’t forget to share this article with your tango friends. If you enjoyed it or found it useful, they might also!
I have had time away from tango due to a medical prob and now I’m recovering slowly. I’m always fearful of not looking good on the dance floor so I tend to forget most of a repertoire. I have been reading your articles occasionally and I will go back when I’m better with renewed heart, thanks
if you loose the Passion for Tango, well, then just go somewhere else, have fun at a galaball, go for a real waltz or Party with salsa, sometimes you just have to move to be able to come back
I agree. That was the point of my last advice – sometimes you need something else…