Many times I hear comments that it is harder for the male tango dancer or that women have more complicated journey; in fact the tango dancer’s development is not a straight line and both of those viewpoints are right and wrong in the same time.
Male or female dancers, have their difficulties along the way and most of them depend on their individual talents and abilities. Yet, experienced teacher can notice some general regularities.
In this post I am going to talk about some very interesting observations I made over the years of watching how the tango dancers develop: they will help me explain why I think that those viewpoints I mentioned in the beginning are wrong and right at the same time.
– You don’t know how to do anything right, she whispered with frustration on her face.
They tried some basic back cross while I was checking their progress during the practica. It was their second month, but I was very satisfied how they learn. I mean, he was really really talented… but she was not.
They were a young couple and it was obvious that she was in love with him, but in the same time she was frustrated that he could not do what others, more advanced male dancers could do.
– OK, let’s try again, he said with determination to accommodate her.
What she could not understand is that in this first phase of their development it is much harder for him than it is for her; and what he did not know is that his efforts now will pay off and that in time it will be much easier for him than it is for her.
[Tweet “…his efforts now will pay off and in time it will be much easier…”]
Why it is like that? What is the difference between the male and the female dancers development?
Let us start with him.
Phase 1 – This is the hardest part of the male dancer’s development. In fact, I do not think it is an exaggeration if I say that in all those phases I am explaining here – this is the hardest one of all. It is really miracle of motivation and determination (and sometimes love) that the male dancers learn tango at all.
It is harder for him in this first phase because he can be overwhelmed by the amount of tasks he has to do simultaneously: to lead the woman, to improvise the choreography, to move his body, to pay attention to the musicality, and on top of all of that – to pay attention of the movements of the other couples and respect the ronda. It is like you give a person who never juggled 5 balls and tell him ‘now juggle’. It is hard and frustrating experience.
Every one, or all, of those mentioned tasks can be problem for him and should be learned. Despite of this, as I said, the most of the male dancers persist and learn those things with more or less success and they become tango dancers. In my experience when male dancers start dancing tango, there is a bigger chance they will stick to it (than it is for the female dancers) – maybe because of the bigger investment in time and effort they make in this initial phase.
Phase 2 – Let me begin this section with one of my favorite quotes:
The guys at that time had already surpassed the stage of steps. They had already passed through the filter: When they didn’t really know how to dance, they did 20 steps; when the knew a bit more, they did 10; and when they really knew what they were doing, they danced five….but with real quality. – Cacho Dante
In the second phase, he has already found his expression in the dance which means he tried a lot of different moves and steps, but he accepted in his dance only small percentage. This means that he will do those few steps (most of the times no more than 10) and he will be comfortable doing them. Because he is the leader, he creates the choreography in which he can include his repertoire and exclude those uncomfortable steps.
Here are the two phases of her development as a dancer:
Phase 1 – As a beginner she does not have to focus on too many things – the amount is far less than what he has to do. Specially if she dances with good and experienced dancer who will focus to lead her steps which are comfortable for her.
Tango is by design comfortable for the woman – at least the one we can call good tango. If tango is challenging for her, it is most likely bad tango or something which we can call acrobatic or show dancing (which is challenging for both). In both cases it is bad tango for milongas. But why is tango designed to be comfortable for the woman? Because when tango started in the early 20 century in Buenos Aires there were 10 man on every woman. Imagine a milonga where there are 10 man on every woman – even absolute beginner female dancers will have a chance to dance with good dancers. He will do most of the work, all she has to do is just to ‘cooperate’ with his efforts and focus on the connection.
In the first phase, even being beginner, woman can find much more enjoyment than a male beginner dancer.
The form you have selected does not exist.
Of course, there are challenges in this phase for her as well. I am not talking here about the basic technique, which is ‘must learn’ for both – I am talking more about mental and emotional challenges. For some women being able to put down their shields and communicate is easy, for some this can be very hard and very frustrating task. But even without doing that, this phase of the dance is easier for the women than it is for the male dancers.
Phase 2 – She learned the basic techniques and she danced a lot. She feels comfortable in the embrace and she trusts that whatever move her partner trows at her, she will be able to handle. But, that is not always the case.
We said that in the second phase, the male dancer has found his expression and style and he will dance with his favorite 10 steps. But think about what does this mean for her? Most of the time she will have to adopt and make different 10 steps with different dancers. This means that in the second phase she needs much more technical knowledge and experience, than male dancer needs.
Of course, I do not say that she always has to adapt her dancing – in many of my posts I repeat that a good male dancer adapts his repertoire to her – but in general, she follows the choreography he creates in the moment. This means that she will have to dance to a quite different choreography with different dancers – which will require different skills and technical knowledge from her.
The man can have limited technical skills and still be considered a good dancer (if he performs his repertoire well), but for the woman this is not the case.
What is your experience? What was your personal dancing journey? Comment in the form bellow or write me a private message on this link.
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I mostly agree with your thoughts here. I find you might want to add a ‘phase 3’ in terms of a follower. It’s when she is at home in her tango enough that she starts adding her own flavour to the lead’s ‘choreography’ and becomes a more active participant. In fact, the best tandas I’ve had is when it is not that clear anymore who initiated a movement, and it effortlessly flows from the follow following the lead and the lead following the follower, in very subtle and minute ways, as it is danced in more adanced milonguero style tango.
If you feel a need an urge to add movements to the dance, it means it’s not magical enough for you 🙂 Self pleasing, means he is not doing enough for you 🙂
… you always add your flavor to the dancing, no matter how active you are – this is why I always say that leader-follower terminology is wrong and should be avoided – she is a leader as well 🙂
It has nothing to do with an ‘urge to add movement’ or it ‘not being magical enough’.
In milonguero style tango both partners interpret the music and they are so finely tuned to tiniest impulses, down to breathing out a little deeper and longer if she wants to draw out a movement that the dance is a deeply felt conversation with the follow adding her interpretations in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with ‘taking over’ but with adding her flavour to the expression. Even her intention is felt and responded to by an experienced milonguero lead.
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“I agree. It would be much easier if they start out in a womans role. ”
Then perhaps you should say so, rather than just scaremonger with e.g. your “It is really miracle of motivation and determination (and sometimes love) that the male dancers learn tango at all.”
“But, on the other hand, that proves my point – that the female dancers have easier start than male does”
The point it ‘proves’ is simply that those who partner people that can dance have an easier start that those who partner people who can’t. This is regardless of gender.
And by the way, in my experience your:
“most of the male dancers persist and learn those things with more or less success and they become tango dancers.”
is far from true. The majority of males that attempt to learn by the hard way you describe do indeed get overwhelmed – and quit after just a few classes.
Hi Chris, thanks for the comments. I appreciate that.
Although it is much harder for the male dancers at the beginning, they stay in tango – it is because what they get from it is worth of their time and energy. As I said in my post, everything they invest will return to them multiplied – something immediately, something later. I do not think it is necessary for the guys to learn the way it was in the Golden Age – back then guys done it not because they preferred that way, but because they did not had choice. Now we do!
I completely agree with you on your point that those who partner people that can dance have an easier start than those who partner people who can’t. But in the same time, having in mind the roles in tango, the point that it is easier for female beginners, is still valid. It is easier for a female beginner who dances with partner that can dance, than it is for a male beginner with a partner that can dance. And sometimes, dancing with a female beginner dancer can actually help a male dancer to learn faster.
I respect your opinion about male dancers quiting after few classes – and it is very common idea. It is actually supported by the fact that most of them ARE quiting fast, but the reason for that are bad teachers who are unable to give them the right perspective, why they have to work so hard and what will they get in return. And I can prove that with my own experience – in my school most of the male dancers stay, much more than the girls.
I want to ask you, if you are a teacher – how long does it take for the male dancers in your school to come to the milonga and dance? Do they have the confidence when they do? I think those are the key questions that can guide one teacher if (s)he teaches social tango 🙂
Ivica wrote: “I want to ask you, if you are a teacher…”
I’m not :).
Note that this is specific to the class-based learning method. In particular many of these problems are caused by people who can’t yet dance trying to learn by partnering others who can’t yet dance, while trying to copy teachers’ moves. For example “It is harder for him in this first phase because he can be overwhelmed by the amount of tasks he has to do simultaneously” does not apply to the guy who instead follows the traditional path – starting out by dancing as the woman with a guy who can already dance.
I agree. It would be much easier if they start out in a womans role. But, on the other hand, that proves my point – that the female dancers have easier start than male does.