Tango códigos simplified

Q&A article
In all these years of my tango journey I’ve never seen more controversial topic than tango codigos. Some people don’t know them, others know them, but choose to ignore them. But all of us have opinion about codigos.

Well, who am I to tell them how to behave? All I can do is to help those who think that codigos are useful and who reach out to find out more about them.

In this Q&A article I will answer a request I often get from the subscribers on my list. I decided to use some of the answers to the questions and share it on my blog.

Deenen asked me to explain the “tango etiquette when a dancer is kicked or stepped on”. Rene, on the other hand told about his trip to BA and that a little information about tango codigos, does and dont’s would be nice.

This article is all about that.

Not long ago I read an article how cultural differences can cost someone his life. It was about the American soldiers in Afghanistan. The author explained that many unarmed afghan civilians get killed by soldiers because they have different ways than the Westerners. Namely, Afghan people are not afraid to touch or to get in to the personal space of a stranger when they communicate with them. On the other hand, many American soldiers (in fact most of the westerners are like this) can sometimes interpret this as hostile act. So, they do what a soldiers do when attacked – they fire their guns 🙁

Fortunately, the consequences in tango are not that severe. Than why we should use the codigos? Because they help us navigate better the complex world of milonga.

There is also one other reason – when you see someone is behaving in a good manner, you learn something about him/her. The codigos are the secret password of good dancers.

[Tweet “All tango rules can be boiled down to one rule – Respect! Give it to get it!”]

I assume that the reader is already familiar with the basic human etiquette – like getting shower and brushing the teeth to have a fresh breath… or, respecting others and their need to enjoy. Unfortunately, there are dancers who didn’t learned even those basic rules.

So, having the basic human interaction etiquette aside, let me tell you what I think are basic tango rules. At least, as such as I see then and learned then.

Tango codigos is not something carved in stone – it was even different from barrio to barrio in Buenos Aires in the Golden Age. Similar is with the tango communities in the world – every community have their variations, so be aware of these when using the rules.

My advice is to ask and observe – and adapt accordingly.

So, here are the basic rules, which are respected in 99% of the mature communities.

1. Ronda
2. Cabeceo/mirada
3. Tandas

Let’s take a closer look!

1. Ronda – We dance in a circle (ronda), which moves with a regular tempo in an anticlockwise direction. The more experienced couples dance on the edge of the dance floor, while the less experienced dance in the center.

This is one of the most basic rule and it is accepted almost everywhere. Now, there are variations of what is considered your space: some consider that making one step backwards in the ronda is allowed, but I think that that is dangerous – since you never know how close is the couple behind you.

If you hit someone (or someone hits you) we kindly apologize with a smile – no matter who’s fault is. The point of saying “I’m sorry” (and forgiveness) is not just from politeness, but to send a friendly message, gaining respect and preventing future hits.

While we dance the feet are always close to the dance floor. We never do a boleo or a gancho high in the air with an open (high) heel.

I noticed that this rule is unfortunately most unknown and unrespected – and, many people who know it, choose to ignore it with excuse that it stops their “creative expression”. In fact, in my opinion, they choose to dance for themselves, ignoring that with that they put other couples on the dance floor in danger.

2. Cabeceo/mirada – The men invite the ladies with a meaningful glance or a nod of the head (cabeceo). The ladies invite men with meaningful glance (mirada).
It is so natural that some people use it, despite the fact that their teachers never told them that it is part of the tango culture.

Now, I believe that invitations should always be made from a sitting position, since that makes easier to avoid mistakes. For example, if you sit on a chair and a guy behind you is making cabeceo from a standing position, you might think your invitation is accepted.

Many communities prefer standing invitations, since the dancers can’t do otherwise. Most often, this is the organizers fault: semi dark venue discourages invitations on distance. Some events are too big and chaotic to make invitations from sitting position, so the dancers choose to wonder around trying to get a dance.

When the cabeceo is accepted, it is usual to keep the eye contact at all times, while the men approaches the table of the lady. When he gets near and reach to her, she gives him the hand and they go to the dance floor.

Ladies – wait! Don’t get up too early. You will be sure that the cabeceo is for you only when he comes in from of you.

Oh, there are two other variations of invitation which I call “grabeseo” and “chateseo”. Some men choose to invite so aggressively, that they almost grab ladies by hand. Others, sit on ladies table and talk, and even after that they invite.

I believe that both are wrong, since they are sign of disrespect – they don’t give a chance to the lady to respectfully refuse to dance with you.

3. Tandas – We dance one or two tandas. After that we say thank you and accompany our partner to her table.

There are many events where one tanda rule is being respected. This means it is appropriate to dance just one tanda with one partner in the one milonga. I believe this is accepted to enable to everyone have a chance to dance with more partners.

There is also this “third tanda rule” which assumes that if two are dancing more than two tandas, there must be a romantic interest involved; that their dance is more than just tango. In my opinion it might be true, but not always.

In any case, if you decide to dance a second tanda – it is recommended for you to live the dance floor during the cortina, because your presence there might disrupt the vision field of others and a possibility of cabeceo/mirada.

After the dance the man is obliged to accompany the lady to her table (or the place where he picked her up). Many men can’t understand the point of this because they can’t understand that ladies often dance with closed eyes and after few giros the completely loose their orientation. Some are also enchanted by the dance, so leaving them alone on the dance floor after the last beat is very uncomfortable.

Have in mind that I am talking here about what I consider the core of the tango codigos and there are many more. In fact, those are enough for you to be comfortable that you don’t miss something important.

Do you have any questions? Feel free to ask them in the comment section or via email.

And also, don’t forget to share this article with your tango friends who will find it useful.